Do you struggle to find hope after a loss or separation in your life?

This topic used to be quite difficult for me. I would say that most of the time, in my past, I would have to answer yes to this question.

This was because I used to place so much emphasis on the things I could see around me and placed my worth in those things. When someone exited my life, I would lose hope. If I ended up loosing an item that I cared about I would be upset.

It seems like this is a timely moment for me to be writing about separation and loss because of what is happening in real time in my life.

You see, one of my dogs isn’t doing well.  He has been fighting several diseases and ailments over the last few years and it is starting to seem that he is running out of fight.  The cancer has returned and he isn’t eating much these days. So the words of Musashi are ringing in my ears as I am writing this.

Dokkōdō Principle #8: izure no michi nimo wakare o kanashimazu (何れの道にも別れお悲しまず) English interpretation: Never let yourself be saddened from separation

I think if you tried to tell me to not be sad from separation a few years ago, I wouldn’t have understood how to do this. Honestly there are parts of this that are still a struggle.

But I believe that we all come from the source and return to the source once our time is done here. And so there is a part of me that believes that even though I can’t physically see my loved ones that they are still very much connected to me if I remain mindful of this truth.

I think it is natural to feel a sense of loss when we are separated from someone or something and it is critical that we understand how to grieve that loss. If we don’t allow ourselves to go through that process we will inevitably end up in a perpetual state of sadness from that separation.

For me, I keep my thoughts focused on the future and not on the past. I learn from the past and the things that I go through in order to help me get through what lies ahead.  Life is not linear, nor is it going to be neat and tidy all the time.

Most of the time in my experience, life is about finding a sense of peace amongst the seemingly never ending chaos. If we fix our thoughts not on on the past but on the future, it becomes a little bit easier to get through what we are currently experiencing.

Ikigai is a way to find this peace that I am talking about. Even though there might be a storm raging around you, having a sense of your ikigai can give you a hope for the future. This is what Mieko Kamiya teaches us in her book Ikigai Ni Tsuite among other things about ikigai. 

So this particular topic of not being saddened from separation I feel really ties into the teaching from her book. Something that I am currently dealing with and looking toward the future to help me through.

I know that not all of my days ahead of me will be as hard as some of these are currently, and that is what I am choosing to hold on to.

If you would like to learn more about how you can discover your ikigai, drop me a line and let’s set up some time to chat.

#ikigai #hope #hopeforthefuture #noseparation

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