Emotions are tough, we all have them, we all struggle with them from time to time. I know I do. The thing with emotions is that they create feelings inside of us that in turn shape the behaviors and actions we take.
The actions we take then give us the outcomes that happen each and every day in our lives. So what do you do when you aren’t getting the outcomes you want?
You need to change the inputs. Just like life, what you put in will ultimately give you what you get out. If you don’t like what you are getting, you need to start changing what you are giving.
I would say at one point or another in our lives we have allowed the feelings of love or lust to guide our decisions even when we knew it was not a good one. Been there?
Dokkōdō Principle #10: renbo no michi omoi yoru kokoro nashi (恋慕の道思い寄る心なし)
Do not let yourself be guided by the feeling of lust or love
Musashi was writing to his students about this very thing. The big difference back then though was there wasn’t social media and whatnot. But people are people, no matter where they live and when they lived.
He uses the word kokoro again in this principle, and in the context of not allowing you heart and mind to be guided by those feelings of love and lust. Seems to me that even 400 years ago, that some feelings can lead us in directions that we don’t want to go.
Now I am not suggesting that we shouldn’t have a desire to love others and to lead with a loving attitude, but when you let the emotions take over and start making decisions for you, you end up in a place you never wanted to be.
So here is another instance where our authentic selves come into play. Understanding your authentic self and the reason for being allow you to truly create a pathway that resonates for you and won’t allow you to be easily swayed by emotion that don’t line up with that path.
The decisions we make with regard to our relationships have a strong effect on the quality of your own life as well as that of others. What seems like small confrontations can eventually create wide rifts in a relationship, which affect everyone around you.
So be mindful of the emotions you are feeling and make sure that they are serving you and others well. If you can’t say for certain that they are, take a pause and reflect. Seems easy to say, maybe not so much in the moment.
Unless…this is how you move through the world each and every day. You can practice not letting your emotions take over when you don’t want them to in small ways every day. Not eating a piece of cake when you really want one, or only having 1 beer when your friends want you to have 6.
Taking small steps in our everyday lives will help us when those bigger moments come along. If you haven’t taken the steps to understand your authentic self and want to know how to take the first step, reach out and let’s chat.
#ikigai #kokorozashi #authenticity #trueself #truenorth
Steve Beauchamp 
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